At Refreshing Life I try to maintain an upbeat and positive theme. Today, after much consideration, I have chosen to post about frustrating things I encounter in life. I hope that this gives you permission to talk about the things that bug you in a safe space, to chew on why they trouble you and maybe find a solution.
Here they are, my top 5 annoyances this week:
I am so over “anti” attitudes. Between politics, religion, ecology, and even grammar sometimes, it can be difficult to nail some people down on what they are for these days. Everyone is so vocal about what they are against, it almost seems that being for something is passé. Well, I want to bring it back. Be FOR something, not against. If we can express the reasons why someone should support our cause, instead of the reasons why others are wrong, we might just find that people will listen. It will make for friendlier conversation anyway, and that would be a huge improvement. (I realize the irony. This post is very anti in nature, but at least I try to follow with the positive alternative.)
I’m not against models, I think they are beautiful and can be very strong men and women with complex personalities, just like the rest of us. What makes me say “Aargh!” though is when even these beauties are deemed not good enough, and their images subjected to ridiculous photoshopping to make them thinner, more symmetrical, with longer necks and bigger eyes. It is insulting to them, and it continues to present us with a completely unattainable standard of beauty. If models aren’t good enough for public consumption, heaven help the rest of us. Thankfully, some companies are getting a hint and starting campaigns with real people. (Check out Elle, American Eagle, and Dove)
You know what I’m talking about, when people make comments about themselves that are negative so that others will tell them they are wrong and shower them with compliments. I know sometimes it is hard to see our own worth, and sometimes we are too self-critical. What bugs me is not the honest low self-image, but the fake low self-image. How can you tell the difference? When you say, “Oh, I am so fat.” then wait for someone to say differently. When a friend says, “I only had time to bake fresh bread twice this week, I am such a bad mother.” Seriously makes me want to roll my eyes and groan. Instead, how about we express what we need. “I am feeling insecure, and need to hear that I look good.” “I am feeling unappreciated, and would like some acknowledgment for being the most super-awesome mom on the planet.” At least we would be honest, and then others wouldn’t have to guess at what we want from them.
Not Getting What I Paid For
Shopping drives me up the wall. I am not a retail-therapy kind of girl. I like to buy well and seldom. Shopping for some socks for my girls last week, I bought a package of socks in their size that seemed to be on clearance because it was the last of its kind. We got them home, washed them and put them away. The first day of new socks was fine, then the next day one girl said they were too small. The following day, the “pair” of socks wasn’t even the same size. I know, first world problem. It drives me crazy that what invariably happened was that someone took them home, discovered the issue of size variety, brought them back and the store PUT THEM BACK ON THE SHELF! Aargh! Seriously. I know that I have responsibilities as a consumer, but what happened to the responsibilities of the seller? Next time, I will buy on Amazon so that I can at least give the seller a bad review.
Ok, last gripe of the day. If there is anything worse than false self-criticism, it is the utter absence of the ability to evaluate one’s own behavior/life choices/attitudes. When any difficulty in life is someone else’s fault, when a person is never in the wrong, when apologies are always expected and never offered there is a serious problem. Usually, it means a serious problem for other people since they usually are left picking up the pieces. The solution here is personal responsibility and a willingness to be wrong. On the side of those left cleaning up the mess, perhaps allowing the consequences to be on the shoulders of the one who created the mess. It isn’t always possible, but guaranteed that if we enable them, they will never learn.
There they are, my frustrations of the week. What are yours? Feel free to share, vent, discuss, and otherwise express yourself in the comments or with someone you trust.
Getting the frustrations out there, how refreshing!