Today I served a couple as a doula at their baby’s birth. Mom was a champion, and dad loved his wife and baby. It was great, and I would do it again tomorrow! Labor was induced and I wasn’t sure that it was what I would have chosen in their shoes. But as a doula, my job is not to make their decisions for them, but to support them as they walk through their experiences making their own choices.
Having typed that, I am left to ponder how this is really our role in life as we walk alongside the people that we love. Love serves. Love may have opinions. Love may even offer those opinions in caring advice. But love does not insist on its own way. Love takes on the role of a servant, supporting and persevering as the loved one moves forward making their own decisions.
When things do not work out, our role is to be there for the clean-up and the debrief. Our job is to listen as our loved one sorts through the broken pieces and seeks to figure out what went wrong. Love doesn’t say, “I told you so.”
And surprisingly, even if the choices are not what we would prefer, many times everything works out just fine. Then Love rejoices!
Love is a servant. When we truly love, we are servants as well.
Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end
–The Message, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7